Saturday, December 24, 2016

How to be amazing, like me

I’m often asked, “how are you so amazing?”

Shucks! Honestly, I can’t say for sure how. But don’t worry guys, I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I think I’ve figured out a few things:

I have patience. Others seem to live in a haze of fear.

The fear of missing out. The fear of getting caught as a fraud. The fear of their short, uneventful, future.

I don’t know where I got this patience. Maybe it’s because I didn’t think I’d do anything great, so I didn’t need to rush towards something. No one else seemed to expect anything of me, so I didn’t need to maintain some image.

I know, sounds weird, being so amazing, with so many accomplishments, how can I have been so insecure? But fellas, inside, I’m just a humble guy. Very much like the rest of you little people.

I observe. Patience allows me to shut up and listen.

I’m not quick, and I’m not terribly talented, and I’m also lazy. You might think otherwise of course, looking from the outside at this perfect specimen of a human that I am.

But I’ve met many who are quicker than I am, harder working than I am, and much more talented. They make me feel jealousy, but I’m also glad I can be around to observe, and take away their glory as I slowly surpass them. I have more patience than they do.

I do things wrong on purpose. I’m fearless like that.

Probably came from a lifetime of being ridiculed or ignored. It didn’t matter whether I failed at something, I didn’t feel like anyone expected me to win anyways. No pressure. I was free to be myself.

I didn’t endanger my life. I’m constantly scared of falling, hitting my head, and losing vision for the rest of my life. 

But I always have a different way I want to do things. That frustrates some, it makes others laugh at my naive stupidity, and I don’t succeed as quickly as most. It’s ok, I have patience.

I’m happy with little gains. What I have is truly mine. And it’s growing.

I’ve tried to keep from robbing people of their time, their property, or their happiness. Yet other’s haven’t been so careful with me. Yet, I still come out well, maybe better. Because, what I have left is more than just rightfully mine, it’s NOT YOURS.

What people want, are the best parts. The best toys in the bin, the best choice of meat, the best of life. I am left with the scraps. But you’ll never know how to use your imagination and craftiness to play with broken toys, or how to make delicious stew out of bones and dark meat. I do, I know how to enjoy it all.

I’m the tortoise, smiling at the sleeping hare as I trudge by.

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